so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
