Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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