Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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