p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
