she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
