i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
