God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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