Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
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