I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
