Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I just googled if crying burns calories
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
