I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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