Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize