Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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