you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize
