Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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