You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
