also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Randomize