just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
