I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
