Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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