so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
