just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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