i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
