U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize