Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
