He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
