I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
