My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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