did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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