I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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