I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
