Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
