you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
