He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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