I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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