She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
