Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Randomize
