He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
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