he wants to bone in the snuggie
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
and you fell through a lawn chair
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
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