In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize