Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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