Sponge bath it is.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
