How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
