Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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