im holly from the hills drunk
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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