hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
