i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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