2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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