Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
