That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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