is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
