there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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