that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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