I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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