i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
We were destined to go to rehab together
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
