watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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