You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
