so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
