I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
