There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
